This is the best song. EVER. Too bad I only understand half of what he's singing.  I could sing this song all day.  Maybe when I go to Japan for karaoke?!

    L'Arc~en~Ciel is my current obsession.  If you like Japanese rock, holy shit they're fantastic.  However, most people don't like Japanese rock, ergo, you might not like Laruku =P But who gives a shit because I do!
    Today Sean came from Lansdale and took me out to lunch for my birthday at Cheeseburger in Paradise; it was so nice of him to do so.  We love Sean.  =D  Also, thanks again to Jai and Allen for taking me to dinner last Monday!  That was so sweet of you guys! <3

    Wow, as I sit here, drinking my Chai latte from Wawa, a mixture of hot water, evaporated chai concentrate, and shame, I'm starting to think about how wonderful this summer actually turned out to be.  It was all pretty low key until Artsfest happened.  With my incessant search for jobs fruitless, I was relegated to my house as the only alternative.  My long overdue arrival at State College instantly rejuvenated me.  My friends are absolutely amazing; now, I can't even imagine a life without them. The people I've met over this summer (Allen, Natsuki, Rob, Arelis) and even this past year at PSU (Sean, Jon, Jai, JT, Crottipants, Alison, Zach, Matty, Steve, Ashley) have had and will continue to have a lasting impact on my life.  I love all you guys, and I cannot wait to get fucked up with you guys again!!!
    This summer has been full of sex, regret, friendship, and betrayal.  Actually I'm lying, but doesn't that sound better?
    Okay, scratch that.  For me, this summer has been full of friendship, love, happiness, closure, and personal growth.  Every emotion on the whole spectrum of emotions has its place somewhere in this summer, and they've all happened for a reason and have helped me to grow and become a better person.

     This summer has been full of abundance for me in so many different ways, and I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart for being a part of it.  You've helped make my life just that little bit sweeter and all the more worth living.  I love you.

    Am I a nice person?  I always thought it paid to be kind to everyone.  Why do I get the feeling that being an angsty distant forlorn mess with daddy issues or a deceitful conniving bitch is the only way to get a guy? 

    Often I feel like guys don't see me as a potential love interest because I am too happy and kind; I think this stems from many people's feelings of unworthiness-- they subconsciously elect to be with people who will disappoint them and treat them badly because that's what they've come to expect. 

    I just want to know when it's all going to pay off, that's all.

...Was fucking AMAZING!  Thanks to all my friends (Alisonaecyko, Mattysie_scheisse, JTziroalias, Zachzas1006, Jaivwxander, Edwardpique2u, Keeganlonghairedbum, Arelissilera, Melissacrottithehotti, and Allensaxrussell) who made my visit full of sleaze and debauchery!!  I'm going to write an extensive summary later, but for now-- I'm so sad to leave tomorrow!  But seriously, everyone thank you for your friendship, hospitality, and alcohol.  I love you guys more than you know!

...So I can watch this whenever I want... Fucking LOVE this song.

    Does anyone else feel compelled to post things that make them cry?  Well... I do!

        We all have a star in our heart... Darkness and light are always right next to each other.  Show a little fear         or the drop of a tear, and the darkness will start to grow and attack, consuming the light.  You must always         keep the star in your heart shining strong to defeat the dark and evil souls.  That is your most important             mission.

I really don't know why that made me cry, but I really, really like that quote.  I'm trying to look for more, because I've been moved to tears a lot lately?

    But I have a question for everyone:

    What, without fail, can move you to cry or be on the verge of crying?  Comment me and let me know!

.edit//
    Okay, so I found something else!  This is a mini-story that appeared in the manga Chobits (ちょびっツ) called "A City with No People"  You can check it out at the link below.

A City with No People

Also, the last episode ever of Sailormoon makes me cry.  But more so does this part of one of the last episodes:

 

 

 

    Check out that little story and watch that video!  Well, you don't have to, but you should watch the video only if you know what Sailormoon is about.  And if you DON'T know what Sailormoon is about, jeez, then I really just don't know if our friendship is gonna work out... !

<3

    So, I copied that idea from Jai.  But you suck, Jai!  You're supposed to take Japanese with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Haha. 

    All right, well, in other news, I got all four of my wisdom teeth extracted last Friday.  It was...  Kinda sucky; I decided that I have a really addictive personality and that I could totally see myself getting hooked on the percs that the doctor gave me.  I stopped taking them, suffice it to say.  I still don't feel back to normal though!  I walk around all day in this quixotic state and it's really starting to bother me!  I've had these weird experiences lately where I think I'm totally awake but I'm really asleep and I don't like it at all-- it's really scary.

    I think this is why I'll never do acid or anything like that.

    But yeah, they had to break my jaw bone, so that was bad news bears, but I don't really look like a chipmunk anymore so that's great!  But recovering from this not-even-surgery has made me realize that I think my life is pretty boring and my miss my friends from school haha!  I mean, I love my life, it's just that my friends from home never want to try new things and they're always tired from work, or we can't think of anything to do.  I think that's lame!  I'm sick of it; I wanna go back to PSU where jungle juice flows into the streets and extreme debauchery is ALWAYS in style... Well okay so maybe not that hardcore but you know what I mean.

I just gotta give an extreme shout-out to Sailormoon because she's for real my hero and makes my days go by just a little bit faster!  Luv u, gurl!

    Nah, I seriously do love Sailormoon, though.  And Sailoruranus and Sailorneptune because they're huge dykes <33

My current love?  All Volkswagen billboards.  They portray precisely how I feel about life:

    Negate negativity.  Dare to be happy.
    Cynicism is so last year.  Dare to be happy.
    Jaded is so overrated.  Dare to be happy.
    Woe isn't you.  Dare to be happy.
    Misery has enough company.  Dare to be happy.

I wish more people dared to be happy.  Some people just become so comfortable in the role of the victim.

    Also, every single person needs to read this poem.

Desiderata (Latin: Desired things)

by: Unknown

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

    The events of the past few days have really gotten me to think about relationships in general.  I was talking to my mom yesterday, and she was in such a state of shock that people our age and younger could already be so encumbered with so much emotional baggage from prior relationships.  And honestly, I have to say I agree with her.  She also remarked that when she was growing up, people didn't stay friends after a relationship had been torn asunder.  I know that we (myself included) would like to that that our generation might be "more evolved" than that of our progenitors, but maybe, just maybe they had the right idea.

    After a relationship progresses, it is absolutely impossible by the laws of time to go backwards.  There will always be a history between those two people, one that can't easily be forgotten, if ever.  The amount of pain and hurt that I have witnessed friends of mine bear just... I can't believe it.  Why do people subject themselves to this?  Because they're in love?  Which brings me to my next point.

    I believe in love above all things.  However, from what I've seen, people fall in love way too quickly for their own well-being.  To bare your soul and your everything to someone whom you love should never be taken lightly, and in the mere weeks people have told me it has taken them to fall in love, they could not have possibly known everything there is to know about their significant other, something that I believe is of paramount importance.  That may be why the divorce rate is so high nowadays.  What if you declare your love for someone and then you find out one thing between you that makes you basically incompatible?  Or you declare your love for someone, but you're never happy and you fight often over petty things?  In my mind, my concept of love transcends that.  Yes, people in love do fight, and i know that no relationship is perfect by any means.  I'm just trying to wrap my brain around why so many people have this baggage that we, as young adults, should not have.

    I've heard it said that if you know you can't have what you want, there's no profit in wishing for it.  Well, I don't think that's true, so I'm going to make a wish.

    I wish that people would wake up, and realize that they deserve to be happy.  Too much of some people's lives is wasted thinking that they are unworthy of love or happiness.  EVERYONE deserves to be happy.  EVERYONE deserves to be loved. 

    I wish that people would be clear on what they want.  But of course, people need a sense of identity before they can know what they want.  If you're not clear on who you are, you're certainly not clear on what you want.  The only alternative is to settle for something when you could have better.

    I just love putting myself out there and not knowing where I'm going.  So?  What are your thoughts?

   

    I woke up from taking a nap a little bit ago, but now I'm just even more tired.  The parents came home from Niagara Falls today; they still have no idea to my knowledge that I threw a party here last night lol.  Tonight my parents, my brother, and I went to get some cheesesteaks at Steve's Prince of Steaks.  I forgot how much no one can even come close to duplicating an legitimate Philly cheesesteak.

    Other than that, I have my interview at AE tomorrow.  Wish me luck, guys!

PSU in: 3 days!  

    So, I haven't had a blog in a while.  I just realized this.  IRREGARDLESS (oh, Gretchen Wieners!), it'll be fun to post what I've done on here so that I can remember the fun times I had! 

    Last night I threw a party at my house.  It was a lot of fun; I had good friends, good fun, and, ya know, some alc just for the hell of it.  We bought way too much.  We had two handles of Vladdy and one of Banker's Club, a 24-pack of Miller Lite, and two cases of Milwaukee's Best.  Haha, needless to say, there's still SO much left.

    Who cares?  We had fun.

    So my incessant job hunting continues; I think I've applied everywhere and its mom in Levittown, Langhorne, and Fairless Hills.  Here's my current list of incipient employers:

• J&J Staffing Resources
  
• Cheeseburger in Paradise
• Express Clothier
• American Eagle
  
• Red Robin
• Pizzeria Uno
• Starbucks
• Chilis
• The Great American Diner & Pub

Red Robin and Starbucks told me "Fuck you, we don't need any more help," in so many words, but I have an interview with American Eagle tomorrow at 3:00!  I kinda wanted to work as a server or a bartender, but beggers, as we say, can NOT be choosers.

    Things I have to look forward to: My interview with AE tomorrow, of course.  Besides that, I'M GOING TO STATE COLLEGE THIS WEEKEND!!!!  All my PSU kids, let's get ourselves ready for some nights of debauchery, shall we? 

*******************************************************

    I believe it is my purpose in life to ensure that all my friends are happy.  It saddens me to find out that one or more of my friends is going through a rough time.  I know what it's like.  I've been there.  I'm sure many of us have.  And that's why I want all my friends to know that I truly, seriously, love them. 

I am here for you.  None of you could ever, EVER be an inconvenience to me; if you need someone to talk to, someone to listen, or if you need help, don't hesitate to call me.  I am here for you.  I believe that there are no hopeless cases.  There is hope.  There is always hope. 
   

So I realized that a lot of people that I care about have one of these, so I made one!  Hi guys!

P.S.: I'm so excited for my party tonight!!